Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Second Place Winner!

Thanks to everyone who entered the Truth is Stranger Than Fiction Contest that Vic (aspiring_x) and I hosted! Yesterday, we both posted our third place winners. 



Today, congratulations goes to SARAH AHIERS (FALEN), my second place winner!

Desires
 It used to be, when she was young, beautiful, desirable, she danced all night long. And there were men, and they would cheer, laugh, drink, want. They wanted her. Her limbs. Her hair. Her body. She craved the want. Craved the very need she fed. Sometimes, though, she hoped they wanted the dance. Like the cigarette reflections in their drinks, she mimicked the fire, hoped they would feel the movement, feel the way she felt it, burning through her limbs.

So she supplied, fed their need, and in turn fed her own. The sway of her hips and the grace of her legs as she spun, turned, flew, were all to give rise to movement. She did it for the dance, for their desire.

Until her dance began to end, as all things do. Some things end suddenly, in a flash of flame and glory. Others smother, as the skin sags, the muscles weaken, the legs falter.

Still, she danced, and danced in the light.

The men no longer laughed, loved, desired, but jeered, mocked, loathed. She tried to return to them what she’d once received, but she was unseen, unloved. Broken, except for the dance.

Later, tired, alone, she remembered the men. Flames flashing in their seats, desire burning through her limbs. She climbed the stage and brought the fire once more; those red and orange flames flickering in nature’s first dance. She spun, turned, flew as the flames grew closer and she again felt the caress of want.

And there were men, once more, with sirens and lights. They wanted her, pulled her from the stage, the dance. Her hair blackened, shedding, ash.

The men spoke, but she paid them no heed. Instead, she remembered her dance.

As she watched her stage feed the need of the fire, she smiled.

Here, had always been her best audience.


Congratulations, Sarah!  I loved the beautiful way she portrayed aging - we don't know how old the MC is, presumably not incredibly old, but enough past her prime to look back on those days with a true sense of loss.  Something truly strikes a chord with me in this story.  I feel such sorrow for her when she tries to regain the men's lust and they jeer at her, as her self-worth is wrapped up in something that will never again be, through no fault of her own.  Beautifully written!

Sarah, please email me your address so I can send some very merry goodies on their way!
Be sure to stop by Vic's blog today to read her second place entry by Emily White




8 comments:

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

Great flash! Congrats to Sarah!! And Happy Holidays!

aspiring_x said...

i was really impressed by the raw emotion displayed in this entry. i couldn't believe how close inside the mc mind sarah got while maintaining third person. and how much she accomplished in so few words!
congrats sarah!
you truly deserve a prize! :)

Falen (Sarah Ahiers) said...

Yayayayay! I'm so glad i won!
Off to send you an email

Emily White said...

This was beautiful. Well done, Sarah!

Naomi Ruth said...

OOh... This was so Good. I loved the over-all feeling this piece gives. Congrats Sarah!! :D

Donna Hole said...

This was interesting. Revenge doesn't always work out :) I liked the fire analogy; how she burned with desire and then burned down the bar. Cool - er, hot . .

Congratulation Sarah.

........dhole

Old Kitty said...

This is so evocative and very atmospheric and quite beautiful!!! She was triumphant in the end! Good for her!

Well done Sarah!! Take care
x

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Excellent, Fallen - congratulations!!