Saturday, March 27, 2010


So my laptop has been very prissy lately, and in a blatant bid for attention she tried to overheat and explode repeatedly this past week. What she did not consider before planning her attack was that I already have one high-drama daughter and one laid-back daughter who, as cool as she is, just happens to be two.  Plus I teach first grade.  So, really, Laptop, your tantrumish ploys fall on deaf ears.  I am not an expert at many things, but I am a master of ignoring temper tantrums.  Really, they don't phase me one bit, so rock on with your moaning and wailing and getting so hot that everything fritzed out, I'll wait.  Then we'll talk.  We did come to an understanding, she and I, so you'll be glad to know that we are again on speaking terms.  In the meantime, you've probably either checked obsessively to find out the TRUTH or, more likely, forgotten about it altogether.  Either one is cool.  Thanks for coming back. :)

I wish I could have written about more things that happen at school, because seriously, what happens in elementary schools on a daily basis is truly often stranger than fiction, and how could it not be, with 730 children below the age of 9 all in one building at the same time?  But, alas, I do enjoy being gainfully employed, so I keep those stories to a minimum.  Sadly. :)  However, since my daily life is also often stranger than fiction, most of my choices did include an element of truth.  Or a whole lot of it.  Here we go!

1. When I was in high school, my house burned down. We relocated to an apartment for several months while our house was being rebuilt. The apartment was next to a bowling alley. I bowled so much during our time there that I won a bowling trophy. If my house hadn't burned down, I never would have realized the insanely talented bowler within!
False-ish:  All of it is true except that it wasn't a bowling alley, it was Putt-Putt mini-golf.  And I do still have the trophy. :)

2. My husband and sister-in-law have both won Teacher of the Year Awards and I have not, even though I have taught in my school longer than they have taught in theirs. *sniff*
TRUE!  But don't cry for me, Argentina.  Handsome Hubby and his sister are amazing teachers, and their schools award Teacher of the Year through a process of parent and teacher nominations.  My school hands it out by seniority.  So whomever has been there the longest and hasn't yet won gets it each year.  I've been there 10 years, but I haven't hit Teacher of the Year seniority status just yet. ;)

3. I teach first grade and one year when we were studying money, one of my students brought in two Sacajawea golden dollars to show the class. He put them on his tongue when I wasn't looking and closed his mouth. When I saw that something was in his mouth, I asked him what it was and he tried to show me. One of the golden dollars came out but he accidentally swallowed the other one and had to go to the ER. The next day he brought in x-rays of the golden dollar in his stomach.
False-ish:  It happened, but not to me.  It happened to a good friend and fellow first grade teacher in my school.  He also had a kid who swallowed the blue square of paint from the watercolor box that year.  They were a hungry bunch. :)

4. I gave birth to both of my children naturally without drugs. It wasn't the plan, but I have scoliosis and they couldn't get the epidural in.
False-ish: I do have scoliosis.  My spine is shaped like an "s" and I wore a back brace for 3 years in high school.  Yes, I was the Deenie (thanks, Judy Blume).  It did give my anesthesiologist a run for his money during the birth of both of my girls (he tried to give up after 3 attempts with my first) but he managed to come through.  Yippee!

5. I am a die hard Twilight fan but I hide the books from my 7 year old because I don't want her to know.

False.  This is the only one that is totally false.  I have never read the Twilight books or seen the movies.  I've read excerpts of two of the books, but they just didn't interest me.  So I don't like them or dislike them.  But I am definitely not a die hard fan. :)

6. Growing up, my sisters called me "the milkman's kid" because I am the middle child of three girls and I have stick straight hair while both of my sisters have curly hair.
False-ish.  They called me "the mailman's kid".  And they referred to the mailman as "your Dad".

7. I met Handsome Hubby through my online graduate program. The rest of our group members (who were all also teachers, hmph) totally left us with all of the work in a group project so we had a lot of "quality time" working together and got to know each other fairly well before ever meeting in person.
False-ish.  Handsome Hubby and I met in regular undergrad classes.  I did do a good part of my graduate work online, though, and the story above is how I became good friends with another teacher in my group, even though she lives a few states away. :)

So there you have it!  A few of you were right. :)  This was really fun!  I want to win this award 18 more times... :)


Talli Roland said...

Wow, great lies - and I'm glad to hear you'll eventually be Teacher of the Year! I'm sure you're amazing.

Have a great weekend!

Lola Sharp said...

Man, I didn't get it right.

Happy Weekend!

Summer said...

Great lies! Guess I'm too much of a romantic at heart to have guessed the truth. :-)

Shannon O'Donnell said...

So fun - your lies were too good. :-)

Jemi Fraser said...

Laptops do know how to throw those temper tantrums!

That's a LOT of little people in one place *shudder*. I'm a teacher, but give me older kids anyday :)

Shelley Sly said...

Haha, I like your opening about comparing your laptop to kids. Excellent.

Your lies/truth were fun to read, too!

maybe genius said...

Ooooh, you got me!

25BAR said...

You've been very lucky with childbirth. Good on you.

sarahjayne smythe said...

Great stories and good luck with the laptop. :)

Anonymous said...

Hello. I left a blog award for you on my blog.

In my experience some teachers balk at the Teacher of the Year Award because of the paperwork involved ( a large packet). It's still an honor, though.

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one that did false-ish stuff rather than straight up false.

I was wrong, though :(

Palindrome said...

woo-hoo! Did I guess right?! I can't remember. Good lies though!