Monday, August 30, 2010

Fairy Tale Blogfest!!!

So... Rebecca sent me the link for Emily White's Fairy Tale Blogfest on Friday, knowing I'd totally have a BLAST writing a twisted fairy tale flash fiction.  Of course, I didn't get around to catching up on email until this afternoon and the blogfest ends TODAY.  So, without further ado, here is my entry... at 11-something PM... hope it still counts!


“You don’t have to do this.” 

My eyes flicker toward the clockwork detailing of Damon’s mechanical legs, at rest in his wheelchair.  Though I remind myself quickly to bring my gaze back to his face, the misstep has already registered in his taut mouth.

“It’s not about me, Fauna.”

How do I tell my brother, who has already lost half his natural body in the WOLF War, that sorry as I am for the way it has crumpled his body and soul, it really isn’t about him? 

“It’s about the book, Damon.” 

I don’t explain further.  As I tighten my bootstraps, my entire person constricts.  There is no room for excess clothing, excess baggage, and so my words naturally limit themselves.  Besides, he already knows.  In fact, he holds the book gingerly on his lap, its frail binding flaking at his touch.

Neither of us opens the book anymore.  We haven’t in years, since Papa passed away, leaving Damon and me alone.  Even in our youth, we knew the day would come that we would fight to defend the book.  Papa spent every spare moment teaching us language, movement, how to listen, when to strike.  We are well prepared to carry on the battle in his absence.

“Hide it.”

These are my last words to him. He nods as I pull the red cape across my shoulders.  It is much like the one in the book, the one meant to help a watchful mother keep an eye on her playful child as she wandered the forest.  It is with grim irony that I fasten mine as camouflage.

I step out of the cottage, knowing that I will not see Damon again.  I close my eyes and press my fingertips upon the lids, in part to imprint his face into my memory, and in part a natural reaction to the smoke. I push the door shut, tense fingers gripping the latch until it fastens soundlessly.  I back away and survey the cottage, satisfied that it is completely hidden by thatch.  Thatch that will burn if the fires come.  We’ve been over this.  He knows where to hide the book in the metal storage box so that it won’t be consumed along with him.

The soles of my boots are made of soft leather, but the dryness of the forest assures that every twig I step upon snaps like bone.  Although I’ve practiced this, my eyes still tear at the smoke and the nearness of flame.  Lovers’ Forest burns around me, the scarlets and crimsons, bricks and burgundies of my clothing hide me well.

I travel for an hour, my throat singed, my back wet with perspiration.  In the book, these woods were green.  Princes and princesses held secret rendezvous here while animals masked their footprints with leaves and acorn tops.  Alliances were formed here, witches betrayed, poisoned apples shined to seduce foolish girls.  Wombs were filled on moss carpets, dragons slain by petite princes. There was evil in the world, to be sure.  But there was respite.  There was balance.  There were wolves, but today’s WOLFs, Watchers Over Lovers’ Forest, were nowhere to be seen.  Perhaps they were already here, waiting. Perhaps not.

I stop against a tree.  The WOLFs will find me if I linger, their tiny metal scanners gathering as much information as they can before tearing me to shreds.  My head is spinning, dehydration setting in.  I cannot carry water, Damon has warned.  I must be as light as possible.  He has told me where flasks are stashed, but I can’t remember.  I wanted him to draw maps on me, but he said that if the WOLFs find me, they will get too much information.  If I die, any resistance knowledge must die with me.  I know this, but thirst scrambles my senses.  Although he has detailed it for me night after night, I cannot imagine how he survived nine days in the forest.

Nine days.  The number nine materializes behind my eyelids, a circle and a slant.  I focus on the shape, the simplicity of its form, and remember that I must not allow the haze of thirst to cloud my senses.  I begin to count slowly.  One.  Two…

Four days later, I stumble toward the large tree.  I think it is the one in Damon’s stories.  The one in the book.  The one with the hidden door.  I cannot remember the code words.  I cannot remember my name.  I know only the numbers that I have repeated in my head to keep out the smoke.  I reach seven, as I have countless times, and I cannot remember the next.  I fall to the ground without the smallest idea how to open the tree.  So close.

It is only moments before the WOLFs arrive.  I hear their scuttling across barren leaves.  They poke, prod.  I cannot remember what they are looking for.  If I want them to find it.  I feel a sudden tearing pain as my leg is sliced neatly from hip to knee.  Warmth pours out and I wonder if it is water, if they will let me drink.

Moments before the world goes black, the spiderlike creatures are ripped from my limbs.  Voices pierce the blur.

“Is it Fauna?  Is it her?”

“It is her.  Can you hear me?”

My eyes open but my vision is so blurred by pain and waves of heat from the  encroaching flames, I cannot see. I feel my arm being lifted, my hand spread, my fingers straightened, and a burst of clarity graces my mind.  Under the third fingernail, the chip is embedded.  Only Grandmother would know to look there immediately.  Grandmother, the one Papa told stories about.  I have found her.  I have delivered Damon’s message about where the book is hidden to the leader of the resistance.  I wonder for a moment if my brother is still alive.  I close my parched eyes to the smoldering forest and join him if he is not.


aspiring_x said...

wow! this was super cool! totally diff from the other red riding hoods! (it's amazing how many different ways that tale can be twisted!) i can't believe you wrote this so quickly! gorgeous work! captivating and riveting... i especially loved the part about Damon's legs and about the cloak being camo! :)

Donna Hole said...

I like that her name isn't anything Red, or Red Riding.

So much story packed into this little excerpt. Excellent job at world building.


J.C. said...

Wow...just wow! Red Riding Hood in a dystopian world! And to think Grandma is the leader of the resistance! This was brilliant! I loved how you managed to create a whole new world in such a short story!

Francine said...


Fabulous take on old fairy tale!

Loved the other world aspect.


Old Kitty said...

Oh what a dark and dangerous take of a fairy tale!!! This is a gripping and heroic if a little sad tale, thank you!

Great to have a Grandmother of mythical status too!

Lovely! thansk for sharing!

Take care

Mary Campbell said...

nice job, this feels like it could be expanded into something bigger. I really like your writing.

Hannah Kincade said...

I don't know how I missed this! Fabulous darling!

Anonymous said...

I love it. Sadly? I hate that it was so short.

Anonymous said...

To clarify: I don't mean that as a slight; I mean I wanted more.

Jemi Fraser said...

Fantastic! Love the twists and the book idea. Very creative and fun :)

Charity Bradford said...

I don't have anything new to add to what's above. This was great! I loved it and think this would make a great novel.

Falen (Sarah) said...

yay! Glad you posted your entry!
You had me at "mechanical legs"

Brenda Drake said...

Wow, I thought I commented on every entry but I missed yours. :( This is a wonderful story. I can also see it as a novel. Great Job!

AchingHope said...

Woooooo :) I'm so glad you joined for this blogfest. This was quite incredible. I love how she's near hallucinating at the end. Simply marvelous story :D

Emily White said...

Great story! You're a finalist, by the way. ;)

Rebecca T. said...

That was great! Yeah! I'm glad you joined :D Fantastic world building in such a short space! Loved it!

Steph Sinkhorn said...

Really well done! This was a really flawless twisting of Red Riding Hood. I love love love the sci-fi twist. Congrats on being a finalist!

Talei said...

Wow, this is a great twist on the old fairytale. Really well done! ;))

Talli Roland said...

I loved this! Seemed a very modern take on an old tale... great stuff!

Damyanti said...

Really really well done, and as everyone said before me, great world building in so short a piece!

Dangerous With a Pen said...

Wow, thanks so much, guys! I came really late to this blogfest party, and I am really, really new at flash fiction, so I have a lot to learn. I LOVE reading all of the entries!

Lisa Potts said...

Love, love, LOVE your story. I voted for it in the finals.

Glad to find another writer who isn't already published or agented(yet). Not that I don't think those writers are fantastic, it's just hard to relate sometimes, ya know?

Alleged Author said...

This is awesome!