Saturday, February 26, 2011

Who Keeps Letting Her Near the Coffee?

Macbook = good.

Coffee = good.

Macbook + coffee = not so good.

Oh, yes.  Yes, I did.  And from here on out, I shall let the Ghost of Coffee Spills Past take over this post.

BIG, MEGA-DRAMATIC SIGH.  Seriously, folks, WHO keeps letting Lindsey near the coffee?  Haven't you learned?  Remember this incredibly embarrassing scene from 1999:

The scene:  Lindsey, sitting at the end of a row in a high school auditorium crowded full of probably close to 1,000 teachers.  It is the first day of her brand new teaching job in a brand new state.  It's an inservice day, and the mayor is speaking to the gathering of the entire school district teaching staff.  The auditorium is all clean, thanks to the very hard work of the summer custodial staff.  Lindsey sits relatively near the back of the auditorium with several other staff members from her school that she has just met.  Wait... what is that?  That ribbon of brown liquid running down the center aisle of the beautifully cleaned carpet?  As the mayor speaks?  To several hundred of her new colleagues?  Yes, friends, that's Lindsey's coffee.  And those are people pointing and whispering as it makes its way down, down, down the slanted auditorium floor.  And yes, that's Lindsey, sneaking out of the room with all eyes on her, headed to the office in the middle of a speech by the superintendent, to ask them to page a custodian... someone who probably spent hours the week before shampooing that very carpet.  And yes, 12 years later, when the entire school district convenes at one of their high schools on the first day every year for this same meeting, Lindsey is silently mortified.

Oh, and how about the time the trainers from Columbia University's Reading and Writing Project were hosting a summer course for teachers in her district and Lindsey spilled coffee all over her desk and all of her papers?  Remember that one?

Let's not forget the fact that Lindsey's own Handsome Hubby has joked on multiple occasions that you could brew a pot of coffee just by boiling Lindsey's car mats?  (Wait a second!  That one is totally not my fault - my car cupholders are an inch deep!  They don't hold ANYTHING!  If I let go of my travel mug for a second, it's a goner!)

Yes, that's probably why one time your travel mug fell right over into your teaching bag, upside down, soaking not only your lesson plan book but also a stack of kids' papers you had just marked.

Oh, that was years ago, get over it.

I can't, I'm the Ghost of Coffee Spills Past.  It's kind of my thing.

Fine.  Then get to the point.

The point is, this one is your piece de resistance, spilling coffee on your Macbook.  Your WORK Macbook.  Given to you by THE WORK THAT PAYS THE BILLS.  Paid for by work.  Intended for work use.  Not really yours.  You don't own it.  That Macbook.

Ok, but it still boots up... so... how bad can it be?

You might know that if your "b" key made "b"s still.  Or your "n" key didn't go "nbbbbbbbbbbbb".  Or your "h" key didn't make an apostrophe instead of an h.  Or your backslash didn't turn down the volume.

That last one only happened once.

Yes, but, Lindsey... you don't know if anything else is not working, because without THOSE keys working, you can't login.

I can't help that my work makes me use a 15-stroke password with letters and numbers and capitals.

Nice try.  You can't even type your name.

Ok.  True.

What do you have to say for yourself?

Um... I'm a bad, bad person.  And I hope they can fix it.


And I'm glad it wasn't the machine my WiP is on?

That's what I thought.

photo by ReneS


Al said...

How painful!

I have my WIP backed up in sooo many places just in case anything like that ever happens.

Dangerous With a Pen said...

I have mine backed up, too (and all my digital pics), so if this ever happens to my home computer... whew. Unfortunately, I haven't been as diligent about saving work stuff to the server instead of my hard drive, ugh. Hopefully our tech people can recover it - I think it's just a keyboard malfunction so I need to try an external keyboard, I just don't have one here at home. My tech guy is coming to see me on Monday. Good thing he is super NICE. I already did the walk of shame to tell my principal...

Carrie said...

Oh no. I am always afraid this will happen to me. I always try to keep my beverages far away from my computer. I'm sure your tech people will be able to fix it.
Thank goodness your WIPs are saved though. Makes things a lot less stressfull

Old Kitty said...

The coffee is innocent! The coffee is always innocent!!

Take care

B.E. Sanderson said...

Dangerous With a Pen = Dangerous With Coffee? ;o)

I'm glad your WIPs are okay, but that totally stinks about your keyboard. Thanks for turning your problem into a cute post, though.

Dangerous With a Pen said...

LOL I am ABSOLUTELY Dangerous with Coffee!!! :)

Sarah said...

As hilarious as this was to read, I totally sympathize with you and your spills! I haven't had that many spilling-oops-moments, but I understand the dread of it. I'm always so terrified I'll spill coffee, or water, or whatever, on my MacBook, or my iPhone, or my iPad. Or my papers I have to turn in.

My professor said he once had a girl hand in paper with something spilled on it, and when he asked what it was, she replied simply, "Cat pee."

So at least it's not cat pee. ;-)

Jemi Fraser said...

Yikes! I've had a few similar tea incidents, but not on the keyboard ... yet! I hope it all fixes itself up for you!!!

Karen Martin Sampson said...

Well I enjoyed this post so much and can truly relate as I seem to have become clumsier with age. I never, I mean NEVER have any beverage with me when I am on the computer. I have had too many mortifying moments in life of my own (not beverage related accept for the time in Job's Daughters I was serving for an Eastern Star formal dinner and spilled a pot of coffee all down the front of a woman's beautiful dress). I was an instructor at RIT for a few years, (taught Commercial Illustration) and no student brought in a cat pee or otherwise damaged project, however, one did come in without his assignment because he said "It's in my cousin's car on it's way to Buffalo. Does this mean I have to do it over?" I calmly asked, "Do you want a grade?"

erica and christy said...

OMG, Lindsey, this post is hilarious, thanks for the laughs!! In college, my prof had to sheepishly hand me my paper and admit she read it on a plane trip - it was so soaked with coffee, parts of it were completely illegible (this was in the longhand days!). She gave me an A for the parts that made sense, at least! Good luck with the Macbook!

cmatthews said...

made me giggle out loud! I think it's a curse....

Tracy said...

you know, I found a new love in Cinnamon Swirl by Folgers and oh my gosh, I could drink that stuff all day long!
I laughed at your story about the teacher's 'RAH-RAH' meeting and you spilling the coffee...I despise those meetings and so I figure it this way, you added life to the party!

Catherine Denton said...

I'm sorry about the Mac. But hurray that your WIP is safe. I could be your twin in the spill-the-coffee area.

roxy said...

Okay, maybe you should try the coffee cups with the super-tight lids on top. The ones that prevent any sort of liquid from escaping. Plus, I don't think that it's really your fault . . . Curse you, gravity!!

Larissa said...

Hey! Just stopping by to tell you that I've awarded you the One Lovely Blog Award at the Howling Turtle!

Donea Lee said...

Oh, no!!!! I almost hate to laugh at your story ~ :) But, yes! Thank goodness it wasn't the one with your wip on it! Hope they can get it fixed for you.

Glynis said...

LOL. So glad to meet another accident prone person!

Phew, so thrilled it was not your wip machine!

Anonymous said...

Oh, dear. :O

I'm a dropper. I'm not as bad anymore, but I used to drop tablets, laptops, cameras...mine or someone else's. Thankfully, I never broke anything.

Charmaine Clancy said...

I gasped at the horror, I mean a PC okay, but a Mac??? Then I learned your WIPs were safe and I thought, 'okay it's not that bad then...'

Priorities ;-j

Brenda Kay Ledford said...

I noticed your comment on Susie Swanson's blog and decided to visit your blog. I know what you mean about coffee. I've been known to spill drinks before at the dinner table.
I'm a retired elementary teacher and now I write. I enjoyed your blog.

Rebecca T. said...

And this is why I stay away from coffee.

I don't want to get visited by ghosts.


Hope it was fixable!

Marsy said...

It's funny to think that coffee can be dangerous!

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